Thursday, March 18, 2010

Stalker Sara Strikes: the Metro

The scene: Sara, on the metro, on her way to see Harland Williams at the DC Improv. She see's a teenage girl reading The Dark Divine, by Bree Despain. She, clearly, feels the need to chat with said teenager.

Aaaaaand, ACTION!

After she's uncouthly changed seats to sit across from the girl reading:

 Hi, I know this is weird, but that's one of my favorite books you're reading!

 Oh. Okay.
Girl begins reading again.

Sorry, do you mind if I ask you what drew you to this book?

I liked the cover.

Girl goes back to reading yet again.
But Sara doesn't know how to take a hint:

So how are you liking it so far?

Girl holds up book, pages facing Sara, to display the page number.

I'm on like the seventh page. But yeah (possible sarcasm in tone, Sara wasn't sure) it's great so far.

A boy, somewhere within the same age-range, snickers from the seat behind the girl.
Girl closes the book, her finger marking the spot she left off, and turns her head to roll her eyes at Sara.

Sorry, my brother's an [insert expletive that sounds kind of like apple].

Boy laughs. 
Sara notices the resemblance. Decides not to remark upon it.

You read books just because they have pretty purple (said in baby voice) on the cover.

Boy laughs again.
Girl turns around to her brother.
Sara watches, wishes she had popcorn.

Whatever (definite sarcasm in tone this time). I found my book (taps TDD) in your bathroom yesterday. 

Boy scoffs.
Sara's head swings back and forth as though at a tennis match.

You read all four Twilights over the summer.

I did not.

Girl looks at Sara.

Yes, he did.

Girl begins reading again.
Sara looks at boy and tries to make him feel comfortable. She winks conspiratorially... realizes belatedly that she shut both eyes instead of one, so all she's actually done is blinked dramatically.

I loved those books

Boy stares out metro window--at the tunnel walls flying by.

Crickets chirping... 

Sara rfinally gets the drift to stop bothering them--thinking, instead, about the best way to blog this information.


Commentary: I would have loved to dig deeper, especially because I really did love TDD, but I know a cold shoulder when I feel it (er... them). So, make of it what you will.

Don't worry, I'll be out in full stalker phase again as soon as I find a teen who's reading.

Until then,
♥ Sara

PS. Did you notice that I forgot to give my name when beginning the conversation? Awkward (said in singsong voice).

PPS. Harland Williams, whom I was on my way to see, is HYSTERICAL, and if you ever have a chance to see him do stand up, GO. He played the trooper who drank pee in Dumb and Dumber, and he also played the crazy hitchhiker in There's Something About Mary--you know, the one who came up with seven minute abs? 


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