New Year, New Projects, Epic Awesome

As we get closer to the holidays (and further from the pie-pocalypse that was Thanksgiving), things may appear to be slowing down in the blogosphere. But that's not entirely true. Even if I miss a Monday every now and then (hey, I was in a wedding last week!) know that I am busy behind the scenes working with fellow 5-er Miranda on a sekrit project.

Okay, it's not so sekrit. It's called Dear Teen Me and, holy crap, it's going to be awesome.

Dear Teen Me launches Dec. 1st with some of your favorite authors participating. Head on over to the site for more details, but for now, I'll tell you this: it's an entire blog dedicated to authors writing letters to their teen selves. Could it possibly get more awesome?

I'm not sure. I mean, every time I get an email from an author saying "hey can I write a letter for Dear Teen Me, too?" it definitely gets more awesome. And all of the YA-5 bloggers are on board, so, you know, you can count on some hilarity.

I hope you'll go check out our website. There's not a ton there now, but there will be very, very soon. I promise, this is going to be epic!

What are YOU doing to celebrate Banned Books Week?

You may have heard that I am up to my EARS in Banned Books Week celebrations. All month, at my main blog, I've asked readers to send in photos of themselves reading banned books. (Keep 'em coming! I'm accepting submissions through the end of Banned Books Week!) In return, I've been sending readers some fabulous buttons to declare their own banned book-reading awesomocity. Here are the buttons:



And this week, for every single day of Banned Books Week (which started on Saturday, the 25th, btw), I've got an interview with a banned author of SCANDALOUS books. So I hope y'all will check that out and leave these authors some love!

In any case, I wanted to show y'all what I'M reading in celebration of Banned Books Week, since everyone has been so forthcoming in sharing their own favorite banned books.

When I was about ten (that's me in 4th grade, right there), I was pretty busy tearing through all the Judy Blume I could get my hands on. I had always been an advanced reader, and my mom was pretty good about letting me read what I wanted. (I remember picking up Patricia Cornwall and John Grisham from my dad's bookshelf when I was in 7th grade. I eventually got bored and traded them for some Piers Anthony Dad and I found at the bookstore.)And , at the time, ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET. was like my Bible.

One night my dad took me to get a new book and I came home with FOREVER..., one of Judy Blume's most famous books. I was so psyched to read it and I showed my mom but she did not share my enthusiasm Actually, she sort of panicked. She took it and hid it away and told me that it wasn't appropriate reading for me. I was like what the heck, mom? It's by JUDY BLUME. How could anything Judy Blume wrote be scandalous?

(This goes to show that my pre-pubescent self hadn't quite picked up on the sexual subtleties of TIGER EYES and DEENIE, which remain some of my faves.)

Anyway, I never wound up reading FOREVER.... But as an adult I have not one but TWO copies of Blume's most banned book. And, putting my money where my mouth is, so to speak, I figured I'd get my read on with the one book I was personally forbidden to read.

And I loved it.

I'm not going to go into a detailed review, because I'm probably the one person on the planet over the age of 18 who hasn't read FOREVER.... But I loved this book for its sensitive but uninhibited explorations of sexuality. I loved that the characters in the book were real teens that I related to as a kid who grew up in the 90s, even though they were written in the 70s. And I think that their experiences carry over in a way that remains real and relatable for today's teens.

Part of me remains surprised that this book was written in the 70s. It's pretty explicit, and I have to commend Judy Blume (or, THE JUDY, as I think of her) for not pulling any punches. Authors like Laurie Halse Anderson and Ellen Hopkins, who are writing contemporary YA and selling jillions of copies, still get challenged every year for being too racy. And I'm really glad that they -- and other authors, myself included -- have THE JUDY to fall back on. She paved the road for writers who want to keep it real, and that's freaking awesome. So if you, like me, never got around to reading FOREVER... as a teen, I hope you'll go pick up a copy soon.

And, for the record, I hereby forgive my mother for not letting me read FOREVER... as a kid. I wasn't ready for it. Though, I'm pretty sure I would have been so scandalized by the first sentence of the book that I would have hid it from myself in the closet and forgotten about it until I was ready.

Let's open our hearts today.

Okay, before I get all serious on you, I want to remind you to visit my other blog at the dot com for the purpose of hate-mongering all over censorship. Or rather, so you can learn how you can win some supacute Banned Books Week swag.



Anyway, it's serious time. Why? It's National Suicide Prevention week here in the US, and I want to shed a little light on the topic.

I've mentioned in other posts that I struggled with mental illness as a teen -- trufax. Here's the part where I full-on out myself: I'm a woman with bipolar disorder (in remission, as my adorable, grandfatherly general practice physician calls it) and panic disorder. And I'm totally okay with talking about it. Why? Because the stigma is still floating around out there, and that can make an already difficult illness even more tough. Especially if you're a teen.

Whenever I tell someone about my illness, I get the "I never would have known!" response. Even from people I talk to regularly who also know that I have frequent panic attacks (which I guess seem common enough, especially on TV these days) and am easily overexcited and obsessive. Sometimes that makes me feel happy, because, hey, that must mean I'm doing a good job at assimilating as a fully-functional grown up! But in the back of my mind I think, well, it's not always easy to pick us out of a line-up.

Okay, here's an idea: think of your lunch table. Picture them lined up in front of you, in your head. Think about what they like, what they talk about, what they do after school, what classes they're good at and what classes they'd love to skip. Do any of your pals have bipolar disorder? Clinical depression? Anxiety? Schizophrenia? Borderline personality disorder? An eating disorder? Addiction?

Now I'm not saying you should get all diagnose-y on them. In fact, I very much discourage playing therapist at your lunch table. But what I'm trying to say is that there is probably someone you know suffering from mental illness, and you don't have a clue. And that's okay. What I'm trying to say is that you should be there for your friends no matter what, because if someone you know *is* thinking about suicide, or is self-harming, or is having secret panic attacks in the bathroom between periods, sometimes all it takes to keep someone from doing something drastic and ambulance-ride-y is knowing they have someone they can call and talk to when they're having a truly shitty day.

When I was in high school that person was actually my sweetheart (at right, with me, at my parents' before senior prom), whom I'm still in touch with via Facebook. He had issues of his own, too, which, admittedly, made him easier to talk to. I remember one day I was such a mess that I locked myself in the bathroom, refused to come out, and was feeling particularly destructive. (Let's just say it's a good thing my parents were already thinking about remodeling). My parents knew how amazing Sweetheart was, and they called him and my grandmother (who is my best best BEST friend to this day) and they got me out of the bathroom and we talked on the porch and, well, I can't say it was all better, but I survived.

Why am I sharing this with the whole wide Internet? Because I'm hoping that it will help someone reading. I'm hoping this will save someone the scary, scary pain that comes with suicide. Of all my adult friends, I can list on one hand the ones who didn't lose a high school classmate to suicide. Is that terrifying or what?

So let's think about that this week. Let's give our friends extra hugs and let them know that they can call us in an emergency even if it's four a.m. on a school night.

And in case you're looking for something to help you relate, one of my favorite books that deals with suicide is HOLD STILL (Penguin Speak, 2010) by Nina LaCour. In HOLD STILL, the protagonist has just lost her best friend, and is struggling to find her own identity, to make new friends, to relate to teachers who know what she's going through but who are scared to reach out. I also love WINTERGIRLS (Penguin Speak, 2010) by Laurie Halse Anderson, which is way too good at illustrating the harsh reality of anorexia and bulimia, and also deals with the loss of a best friend to mental illness. Of course there is also CUT (Scholastic Push, 2002) by Patricia McCormick, which is a beautifully written novel about a girl in a mental health facility, who refuses to talk about anything, let alone her self-harm.

Recently the book HOW I MADE IT TO EIGHTEEN (Roaring Brook, 2010) was released. It's an autobiographical illustrated novel by Tracy White, about a girl who checks herself into a mental health facility to figure out how to deal with her depression, her eating issues, her substance abuse, and, ultimately, her emotionally draining relationship. Also, check out Samantha Schutz's memoir-in-verse I DON'T WANT TO BE CRAZY (Scholastic Push, 2007) about panic disorder and anxiety. I think all of these books give an intimate picture of what it's like to be a teen with mental illness. And they could be just the trick to opening new doors with friends who are also struggling.

And, please, if you'd like to, take this as an opportunity to share your story. Post it in the comments, or blog about it and send me a link. I think the more we talk about our struggles, the more we can keep the stigmas at bay, and the more lives we can save. Sharing our stories can help us share the struggle, and ultimately help us heal.

(PS, check out Samantha Schutz' blog on this topic, You Make Me Feel Less Alone. I tried to work that in more eloquenty, but failed. Woops.)

I will now leave you with an entry me and my BFF Fiona wrote in my journal in 1999. This was probably around the time I was first seeing a therapist, but I still wasn't aware of the my diagnosis or the seriousness of it, and Fiona didn't know much about my illness yet, either. We were watching a rerun of Nirvana on MTV Unplugged, and it was breaking our hearts and blowing our minds:

(Click the image to see full-size & read my teenage ramblings.)

Can assigned reading ever be fun? Or, you know, at least tolerable?

Wow. First Monday back at the YA 5. Check out these new digs! And all of last week's spooktacular fun! I hope everyone has their ear to the ground, as the giveaways are still open for a few more days! Mad props to Georgia for organizing the fab madness!

It's been a hot summer here in Texas. Throughout the sweltering weeks fellow Austinite and YA-5-er K.A. Holt and I have occasionally peeled ourselves off of our respective sofas and meandered to a coffee shop where we "work" on "writing" and exchange critique and argue about what makes a good apocalypse. This week she and her kids even turned me into a unicorn with her fancy iPhone app.

Of course, this leads to book comparisons and the eventual recommendation of titles. Such as THE ROAD. Kari made me read it. She said it was for my own good. And I finished it about ten minutes ago and of course it was wonderful and I'm so glad I read it (even if I whined the whole time) and by the end of the book I was just completely engrossed.

Now I know this isn't a YA title. Cormac McCarthy writes for adults. But THE ROAD is often assigned to high school English classes, here in Austin, and while I was reading, I kept wondering a) OMG if I am struggling to read the first fifty pages of this book, how does a high school kid who also has to do, like, calculus and chemistry and stuff get through it? and b) if I am so engrossed by this book as an adult, would I have been into it enough as a teen to actually read it for class?

Let's face it: assigned reading bears the burden of being assigned. You HAVE to read it to make the grade, and if you're anything like me, you feel that anything you HAVE to do isn't fun. I mean, I'm supposedly a grown-up, and if someone tells me I HAVE to get dressed I'm going to sit around in my pajamas for hours just to show them I don't HAVE to do anything.Maybe I should have my grown-up card revoked.

Anyway, a) yes, teenagers are ridiculously smart. So smart that there's no doubt that they can read THE ROAD and other literary books with tough topics and big words (Cormac McCarthy uses a lot of words that I have to look up). But how do they find the time? This book took me WEEKS to read, and I don't have French homework or soccer practice. So, I would like to give props to the Texas teens who read this book as part of their curriculum. You are heroes.

And b) confession time: I only did about 10% of my assigned reading. And knowing that my former English teacher Mrs. Ryder sometimes reads my posts I AM SORRY REALLY I AM but sophomore year I still read most of the stuff. I mean I loved LORD OF THE FLIES and I memorized that solioquy from MACBETH and I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS is still one of my favorite books ever, so, cut me some slack. Mrs. Ryder, I bet I read more of your assignments than my dad did when he was in your class, okay? Okay.

But by senior year I was drowning in college applications and a boyfriend from another school (didn't so much mind that bit...) and the last thing I needed in my life was Herman Melville. I know some of you out there read MOBY DICK and cherish it and are making voodoo dolls of me right now. And maybe you aren't the type of person who gets an assignment and thinks that someone is trying to kill your spirit. Heck no I wasn't going to watch APOCALYPSE NOW in class. I was going to take a nap. And I can't even remember if I "read" THE GRAPES OF WRATH or THE GREAT GATSBY and the only reason I get those books confused is that the two English classes were assigned them at the same time and my BFF was in the other class. I did read THE SCARLET LETTER that year, though. Do I get points?


I am a horrible influence. I'm kind of bad at this whole role model thing. Woops.

Anyway, I have to wonder, if I'd been assigned THE ROAD in high school -- and part of me wants to call up my old high school and find out what they're reading these days...creepy? -- would I have read it? Or would it have become a book that, to this day, I can't pick up and enjoy (SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE, for example) because it was once one of those dreadfully assigned novels.

How do you all feel about assigned reading? August is almost here and y'all are probably getting ready to cram several weeks worth of summer assignments into a blessed few days while hooked up to an IV drip of cola hoping not to nod out. Because, you know, that's how I got through THE THINGS THEY CARRIED. I hear it's a good book. Maybe I'll pick it up and actually read it for pleasure someday.

What's your THING?

Hi everyone! This is my first post at Ye Olde YA Five, so I thought I'd give you a little background. I mean, some seriously deep recon stuff. Like, actual excerpts from my teenage journals. I recently posted some scans on my own blog, at The Hate-Mongering Tart, and they were a hit, so here I am to share MORE craziness from The Dark Ages.

But here's the thing. As much as you couldn't PAY me to be a teen again, it wasn't all bad. Sure, I had a separate diary in which I wrote about the tough stuff and my struggles with depression and my fights with my parents and woes about the elusive beast known as Sean O'Leary (hi, Sean. This girl? You missed out. Bummer for you!) -- but I had this OTHER set of journals where I wrote about my THING. My THING -- and I think everyone has one, especially as a teen -- was pop music. Oh man I knew everything about pop music. I even eventually had a job at a record store where I used my mad skillz to sell awesome under-appreciated music to the masses. But I digress.

Okay, so, like I was saying. Being in high school can be kind of a total bummer. Mean kids, homework, nasty teachers, coaches on your case to be biggerbetterfasternow and all that jazz. And I wasn't in with the in crowd, and lived in a small town in Maine, so this lead to a lot of entertaining myself with one or two friends on the weekends. A lot of the best times I had were writing about music in my journals with my best friend, Fiona, and any other kids I could rope into joining us. All our inside jokes are there, our obsessions, our loves, our annoyances. I swear to God, I was Rob from HIGH FIDELITY, except for the fact that I was a teen girl with very few exes.

Anyway, the images that I've posted to correspond with this post are from various volumes of my journal. There's that first one there where I drew me and Fiona's pretend band the Cinnamin Twists (yes, spelling a word wrong makes your band name cooler) which features actor Seth Green on bass. We loved him. We still do. We stayed up all night listening to the radio broadcast of Woodstock '99 and drew all these pictures of our imaginary adventure. Then you've got one of the intros to my monthly music reviews, where I'd talk about goings on in music and review my new CDs. Did this lead to my college career as a music columnist? You decide! Then I have a fun list for you -- the entirety of my Songs of the Month for 1999-2000. I did this every year and put little reasons as to why I picked the songs. You can see that list below.


So here's what I want from you: what's YOUR thing? And do you journal about it? Blogs totally count. It makes me sad that teens don't seem to paper journal anymore. Which leads me to my challenge: START A FREAKING PAPER JOURNAL. Do it with your friends! Write about your THING or your collective THINGS and savor it and cherish it. I swear, when you grow up to be a badass YA author/music journalist/lawyer/artist/software engineer/whatever you choose to be, there is VALUE in these journals.

And for the grown-up readers: I double dog dare you to post your teen journal on your blog. No blog? Post a scan/excerpt in the comments. Like I said, DOUBLE DOG DARE.