Books that would be better with explosions.

So on Friday Miranda posted about how much she loves love. Like, she loves love in contemporary stories and she loves love in dystopian and fantasy stories but mostly she loves love in realistic stories. And of course, I was all like, oh Miranda, what book ISN'T better with an explosion? Because, you know, love is great and all, but explosions are kinda where it's at. And you know what? THAT MIRANDA NEVER ANSWERED. So here, for you (and Miranda), I present a very short list of books that would be better with explosions.

1. ROMEO & JULIET. I mean, we all already know what happens in ROMEO & JULIET. There are no surprises when you get to Freshman English and your teacher hands out Dover Thrift editions to the entire class and you are all like, oh, hey, star-crossed lovers. BUT, what if the Capulets were all, check it out, we have TNT! And ILLEGAL FIREWORKS FROM OVER THE COUNTY LINE! Yeah, violence never solved anything, but it's perhaps more entertaining (and, weirdly, a lot less macabre) then the age-old tale of double suicide in the name of romance.

2. MOBY DICK. Okay so I haven't read this book in, well, forever so I think there might actually be an explosion somewhere in its later chapters, but as you might remember I am of the PLEASE JUST MAKE IT STOP contingency when it comes to Melville. So I'm thinking that if the boat exploded and the whale exploded and Ishmael exploded and everything exploded in, say, chapter 2, okay, yeah. I think I'd read that book. All 20 pages of it.

3. EVERYONE POOPS. Just kidding. This might be the only book that wouldn't be improved by an explosion.

3. BLUBBER. Okay, we all know how I feel about THE JUDY, right? I love her and want to be her and think she's like sort of maybe a demigod. But here's the thing, imagine if BLUBBER were more like CARRIE. And, yeah, I know the mean girl gets her just desserts in this book, but what if the girl getting picked on could SHOOT LASERS FROM HER EYES. That'll learn some mean kids real fast, no? Or, you know, at least make for an EXPLOSIVE plot twist. Like, edge of your seat stuff. Think about it, THE JUDY. Dystopian robot girl BLUBBER could be your next bestseller.

4. BLUEBERRIES FOR SAL. Oh how I love Robert McClosky. And in this classic tale of a girl picking blueberries with her mom, and a bear cub doing the same, there is just so much cute and sweet you sort of, well, explode. But picture this: the bears are not bears but aliens. And they do not want Sal near the blueberries that they have travelled LIGHT YEARS to collect as data. So the BEAR ALIENS go on the offensive. Yeah, Sal. You had better take your pail and run, because it's about to get epic up in here. Fire and brimstone style.

5. TWILIGHT. Hey, I'm not knocking it. I read all four door-stop volumes. But I'm just saying. Wouldn't TWILIGHT be better if something BLEW UP? I know, I know, there's that car accident where Bella ALMOST DIES and Edward is all TO THE RESCUE but it's not an explosion. There is no fire. No debris propelled at high speed into someone's eyeballs. I seriously think Meyer should look into incorporating explosions into her next work of fiction. I think that, maybe, if there had been an explosion, Jacob would have had a chance. And as a member of Team Jacob, I'm totally into that. I mean, Edward would have a hard time rescuing Bella from EXPLOSIVE FIRE, since, you know, fire kills vampires. Jacob would just get sexy scars from the ordeal. WIN.

So there you go. Five books that would be better with EXPLOSIONS. Not that I endorse violence. No, actually, I do. Just, you know, IN FICTION.

What books do you think would be better if stuff blew up? Tell me in the comments! TELL ME!

What are YOU doing to celebrate Banned Books Week?

You may have heard that I am up to my EARS in Banned Books Week celebrations. All month, at my main blog, I've asked readers to send in photos of themselves reading banned books. (Keep 'em coming! I'm accepting submissions through the end of Banned Books Week!) In return, I've been sending readers some fabulous buttons to declare their own banned book-reading awesomocity. Here are the buttons:



And this week, for every single day of Banned Books Week (which started on Saturday, the 25th, btw), I've got an interview with a banned author of SCANDALOUS books. So I hope y'all will check that out and leave these authors some love!

In any case, I wanted to show y'all what I'M reading in celebration of Banned Books Week, since everyone has been so forthcoming in sharing their own favorite banned books.

When I was about ten (that's me in 4th grade, right there), I was pretty busy tearing through all the Judy Blume I could get my hands on. I had always been an advanced reader, and my mom was pretty good about letting me read what I wanted. (I remember picking up Patricia Cornwall and John Grisham from my dad's bookshelf when I was in 7th grade. I eventually got bored and traded them for some Piers Anthony Dad and I found at the bookstore.)And , at the time, ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET. was like my Bible.

One night my dad took me to get a new book and I came home with FOREVER..., one of Judy Blume's most famous books. I was so psyched to read it and I showed my mom but she did not share my enthusiasm Actually, she sort of panicked. She took it and hid it away and told me that it wasn't appropriate reading for me. I was like what the heck, mom? It's by JUDY BLUME. How could anything Judy Blume wrote be scandalous?

(This goes to show that my pre-pubescent self hadn't quite picked up on the sexual subtleties of TIGER EYES and DEENIE, which remain some of my faves.)

Anyway, I never wound up reading FOREVER.... But as an adult I have not one but TWO copies of Blume's most banned book. And, putting my money where my mouth is, so to speak, I figured I'd get my read on with the one book I was personally forbidden to read.

And I loved it.

I'm not going to go into a detailed review, because I'm probably the one person on the planet over the age of 18 who hasn't read FOREVER.... But I loved this book for its sensitive but uninhibited explorations of sexuality. I loved that the characters in the book were real teens that I related to as a kid who grew up in the 90s, even though they were written in the 70s. And I think that their experiences carry over in a way that remains real and relatable for today's teens.

Part of me remains surprised that this book was written in the 70s. It's pretty explicit, and I have to commend Judy Blume (or, THE JUDY, as I think of her) for not pulling any punches. Authors like Laurie Halse Anderson and Ellen Hopkins, who are writing contemporary YA and selling jillions of copies, still get challenged every year for being too racy. And I'm really glad that they -- and other authors, myself included -- have THE JUDY to fall back on. She paved the road for writers who want to keep it real, and that's freaking awesome. So if you, like me, never got around to reading FOREVER... as a teen, I hope you'll go pick up a copy soon.

And, for the record, I hereby forgive my mother for not letting me read FOREVER... as a kid. I wasn't ready for it. Though, I'm pretty sure I would have been so scandalized by the first sentence of the book that I would have hid it from myself in the closet and forgotten about it until I was ready.